Guest Speakers
Column

Peter Christen

Descendent of the First Fleeters

Wanda has done it again! What a wonderful presentation.

Peter is a master of his subject and it was interesting to listen to well researched and documented facts. It was interesting that the first lady Fairfax was of convict stock as were the Packers.

Equally of interest are the plaques now placed at the burial places of found First Fleeters and where some of these plaques are.

It was interesting that not all convicts were of English descent

There were Dutch, Swedes, Asians, Jews even Irish.

To appreciate, once again, how we gained our Australian culture and our ethics and values was great.

To hear how a piano on board ship was eventually given to Macquarie House and is still in existence today was just mind bending

After the talk it was amazing to ask about Australian history and find that at Peter’s school, as a teacher, was the wife of Charles Ulm. Smithy’s off-sider’

And wasn’t it interesting to get a personal aside not in books.

Then there was the monthly meeting. We found there is a digital photo competition, a creative writing competition, a newsletter competition- all under the umbrella of the Australian Seniors Computer Clubs Association. Entries close 31^st August 2010. Details can be obtained from our front office at Wenty.

Over a cuppa the personal enjoyment of shared friendships was both invigorating and enlightening –what an interesting group of club members. Many of whom could share their experiences in a presentation or provide the necessaries for such. This would take the pressure off Wanda.

It was wonderful to see Noel Vidler and Gwen again. Noel was firing on all fours and as passionate about the club as ever.

Can’t wait until Wed the 21^st July (Gem Stones).

How about this for Wed the 18^th August. Straight from Wanda herself. (What a wonderful effort Wanda puts in. We really should support her- I hate to see her disappointed)

Hi Paul, I have confirmation from John Bradshaw and his wife Wendy( whom I have invited to attend also).

This is a wonderful presentation and 50 members should attend to view this amazing spectacle of the Antartic and it's wonders

From Wendy and John.

Hi Wanda,

On 1st January 2003, my wife, Wendy and I flew across the Pacific Ocean to Chile [13 hours] then over the Andes and onto Buenos Aires in Argentina for an overnight rest then down to Ushuaia, the southern most city in the world, where we boarded a Norwegian Arctic cruise ship to cross the Magellan's Passage [the roughest ocean in the world] and onto the East Antarctic Peninsular for the next 14 days making landings at 9 unbelievably beautiful sites: glaciers; calving icebergs; some icebergs many times larger than our ship, with at times over ten thousand locals [penguins] greeting us.

We completed the tour by visiting various cities along the Chilean coast.

This is a 35 mm slide presentation so we will require a darkened room to have a worthwhile viewing.

We bring our own projector and screen.

Yours in Anticipation,

Wendy & john

And

If you think that’s something. Wait till September

We know what it will be.

We will tell you later

Terms for 2010

Term 1: 25^th January to 1^st April

Term 2: 19th April to 25^th June

Term 3: 12^th July to 17^th September

Term 4: 4^th October to 10^th December

GUEST SPEAKER

Wednesday 21^st July 2010

Will be

Ruth Payne

Commencing at 10.00am

in the Grevillea Room (next to the club room)

Ruth is from the Wentworthville Lapidary Club.

Ruth will engage us about gem stones and show us examples.

There will be some good advice on how to buy good quality opals.

Please come and enjoy.

Bring a friend

Afterwards the club will hold its monthly meeting

· ‘Qu m’ .is a Persian carpet.

Two tiles in up-words –three tiles in scrabble.

· OUR Isabel said “Its such a cold winter even my mouse was cold, this morning”

Ding!!! Billions of cold computer mice around the world at $1 a pop for mice winter coats –I’ll take 10%

From The Editor's desk

( Or the word according to Google)

Ernest Hemingway is reputed to have told a story with a start, middle and end in six words “For sale: baby shoes, never used.”

Which brings us to the ASCCA Creative Writing Competition for 2010 which is now open?

GO to the web site for details.

Briefly one thousand words or less on The Accident or Compromise or Freedom -can be poem or short story or one of each

This year there will be an overall Creative Writing Champion.

Some of our students have great stories to tell. Go for it!

A runner once said” its not a miracle that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start”

Welcome Janice Waters –new trainer on E-Bay.

Welcome Eunice Leahy –new trainer in training for basics and word

humour scan001001

President Coolidge once invited friends from his hometown to dine at the White House. Worried about their table manners, the guests decided to do everything that Coolidge did. This strategy succeeded, until coffee was served. The President poured his coffee into the saucer. The guests did the same. Coolidge added sugar and cream. His guests did too.

Then Coolidge bent over and put his saucer on the floor for the cat.

(One for the learning experiences)

scan001001

Answer to last month:

Give each letter its numerical equivalent. The number in the opposite corner is twice the number in the other corner. Hence R is 18 –twice 9.

Try this

7

8

Can you work out how the numbers in the triangles are related?

and find the missing number?

Chatter: at the age of three, the 19^th –century English philosopher

John Stuart Mill was able to read Greek. I wonder if he could have solved this triangle question.

More chatter If you hit the ctrl key followed by the escape key –it will bring up the start menu –have some great short cuts and chatter for next month.

SHORT STORY

(Or poem )

2010 IS THE YEAR OF THE TIGER

One for the grandchildren –extract from poems by children

The Tiger

A tiger going for a stroll

Met a Computer Pal and ate him whole

The old man shouted, and he thumped

The tiger’s stomach churned and bumped.

The other tigers said:” now really,

We hear your breakfast much too clearly.”

---------

The moral is: he should have chewed.

It does no good to bolt down one’s food.

Edward Lucie-Smith

This one IS definitely not for the Grandchildren

Two guys are drinking in a bar.

One says, "Did you know that lions have sex 10 to 15 times a night?"

"BUGGER!" says his friend. "And I just joined Rotary....."

Chatter. Who remembers when, during bad weather, Kingsford - Smith (on his own) had to land on a beach in Burma went into the forest to get wood to choke up the wheels. A tiger roared and Smithy never got to his plane so fast and stayed there. Bugger the tide.

And just as I was about to print one of our members sent this (Sorry Bill and Noel –another page)

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
David Bissonette

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Sacha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Anonymous

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?"
Dumas

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Sigmund Freud

'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
Anonymous

'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'
Sam Kinison

'I've had bad luck with both my wives.
The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
Holt McGavra

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Patrick Murray

You know what I did before I married?
Anything I wanted to.
Anonymous

My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met.
Henny Youngman

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
Anonymous

CON MERCHANTS RINGING –PRETENDING TO BE TELSTRA. SAYING YOUR COMPUTER IS CAUSING THEM A PROBLEM –THEY WANT YOU TO ALLOW THEM TO ‘FIX’ YOUR COMPUTER REMOTELY ---DON’T LET THEM !!

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION
ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME
WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE,
AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.

2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.

5. I thought that I could love no other
-- that is until I met your brother.

6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's
empty and so is your head.

7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

9. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

10. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'

11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

WHO SAID POETRY IS BORING (Thanks Noel)

By the way don’t show this to the wife –they don’t see the humour in this one.

Stimulus package

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence in Yarralumla.

One is from Canberra , another from Melbourne , and the third one is from
Perth ...

All three go with a government official to examine the fence.

The Canberra contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring,
Then works out some figures with a pencil.
"Well", he says, "I figure the job will run to about $900, $400 for
Materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me".

The Melbourne contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says
"I can do this job for $700, $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100
Profit for me".

The Perth contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the
Government official and whispers "$2,700".

The government official, incredulous, says "You didn't even measure like
the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?'
The Perth contractor whispers back "$1,000 for me, $1,000 for you, and we
Hire the bloke from Melbourne to fix the fence".

"Done" replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan is working